I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Someone came in the potted fern
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
