Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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