he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize