No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
