on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
we're so committed to being not committed
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
