6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
