so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
