hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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