I'm really into asian looking animals
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
