He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
