Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize