not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize