Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
