so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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