he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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