you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
