just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
