lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
