I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
