I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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