ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
