there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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