sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
