just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
