u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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