My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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