who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I could fuck to npr.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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