I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
