she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
