New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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