So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize