we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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