DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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