so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
