you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
