I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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