All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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