It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
