ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
