You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
