I want to stick my p in your. b.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
