Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
