I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
