these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
