I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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