Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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