She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
