the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
