she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
