I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize