If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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