It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Of course I have a pirate flag
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
