I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
