I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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