i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
