I just threw up on my dentist
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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