So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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