It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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