you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
