ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
