You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
