Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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