Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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